I am not sure about you, but in recent weeks I’ve received a flurry of emails from very enthusiastic book club organizers and book promoters who profess to really like my novels (even though they often get the titles and subjects very wrong) and who, presumably for a small fee, want to invite me or take me on as a client. The following blog post is written, and dedicated, to them.
Dearest Mary, Thomas, Brooks, and Amjad,
Profuse thanks for making time in your busy and high-achieving schedules to reach out to me to offer your expert book marketing and promotion services and the solicitous invitations to your book clubs. I’ve never been asked to appear at a silent book club and I am sure coming to a book discussion in silence has much to recommend it.
I would be remiss if I didn’t also complement each of you on your deep – I might even say, instinctive – understanding of the psychology of your target client base. Most writers, unless we’re in the top five per cent of celebrities with a built-in readership, exist on a spectrum of articulate but mostly very quiet desperation brought on by the state of our industry: Big-box publishing driving out mid-list authors and squeezing out experimentation; a superstar economy in which a shrinking number of authors control most of the economic pie; mushrooming social media that has reduced our attention spans and accentuated the visual medium; and machines that can churn out in an hour something that might take years for us hacks to work up the confidence and experience to produce.
As an author I’ve grown increasingly concerned about the changing market and how difficult it is to promote books that I put so much effort into. Not all of us are comfortable baring our souls on Instagram or BookTok or summarizing our writerly thoughts in 140 characters or less.
So your email offering a range of tools such as your “standard Structured Awareness Campaign” where you would “introduce selected titles to your community in a thoughtful and intentional way” is very apropos and timely. As you clearly recognize, writers tend to suffer from inferiority complexes and always wish they had more readers, particularly literary writers who don’t write in a recognizable and easily monetizable genre,
Most of receive such little feedback and praise since the calamitous decline of the traditional media and immolation of book review sections. Therefore, a little flattery goes a long way. You don’t know how good it feels to be recognized as an “amazing author” who has caught the attention of masters of book promotion such as yourselves who are willing to work conscientiously to reach the readers our work truly deserves.
I can’t tell you how satisfying it is, after many years of devotion to my craft to be told that “the themes and voice” of my book “deserve to be seen, discussed, and embraced by a broader audience that can truly benefit from it.” Amen.
You are absolutely right that it “takes vision and commitment to bring a book to life” and I am so pleased to be told that “what I have created is genuinely admirable.” If I might return the compliment, you too are clearly invested in recognizing and seeking out outstanding literary talent.
But you don’t know how fortunate you are that of all the writers in the world, you reached out to me. Luckily, I have recently come into some significant wins on the crypto markets and no longer have to write books to feed my family. I do it now only because I want to discover something about the world, others, and myself and share that with readers in the most compelling way I can in words.
But I take great pride in my work and would love to make use of your expertise. I actually have $100,000 (USD) lying around that I’m prepared to put into this. I do believe that with the right level of marketing support my books would be that much more appreciated and reach that audience we are all so desperately seeking!
But we know something of the world, don’t we? There are so many scammers out there, I need a sign of good faith. Accordingly, could you please wire $50,000 (USD) to one of the Swiss bank accounts that a man with my money and position regularly makes use of? Or else take out an ad in a major newspaper extolling the virtues of my latest novel?
Looking forward to hearing from you! I believe we would make a formidable team.
Best regards,
Yours truly
Daniel Goodwin 